I've lost so many things in my life. Some I had to give up, some just left me, and some were taken away from me. But somehow, despite all these things I've lost, I am actually thankful for having lost these precious things 'cause these losses have taught me to be stronger.

I remember, I was just three when my mom left 'cause of my dad's abusive ways. I used to be so mad at her for leaving me, and I used to be so mad at the fact that she had to leave me. There were nights when I'd cry myself to sleep, wishing she was there. What made it even harder was that my father tried to keep me away from my mom, even to the point of brainwashing me with ill lies about her. It hurt me so much because she's my mom and here's my father, talking bad about her. I never believed a thing he said that's bad about my mom, and I really seeded ways to be with her. I wanted to live with my mom & be with her so I fought. I fought hard and finally mustered-up the courage to pack my bags, walk out of my father's house & move in with my mom. Growing up as a child was tough for me, but see, I learned to become independent and strong. I learned how to stand on my own two, frail, but struggling feet. It was a hard and painful journey but things turned out very well in the end.

I won't say that life's blissful for me now because it isn't. I won't say either that it's depressing because I am satisfied. I've just lost an immense part of me and life is being hard on me once again. I feel gravely devastated but somehow I am happy & thankful. It's hard -beyond hard actually. I've cried most nights & I haven't really mustered a genuine smile lately, but I'm coping. I guess it's about time I get smacked hard on the face so I'd learn to become stronger & stuff, anyway. Just like my childhood struggles, I have to learn to stand on my own & train my frail heart to be stronger.

It's not the end, after all. In fact, it's just the beginning of a new chapter in my life. It's just one dream that's broken into a thousand, tiny pieces. I just have to pick them up, one by one, and piece them back together. It's gonna be hard, but I have to be strong.