For years I've been working so hard just to make you guys happy. I've been trying to study as hard as I can, work as hard as I could, just to somehow reach your expectations. We all know what I've gone through & it was REALLY hard.

All my life I've been working my rear off for you guys to be proud of me, so you guys would actually have something to brag about with your friends, so I could make you guys happy, and lastly so I can pay you back for all that you've done for me. This year I promised to reach your expectations. But as the year progresses, lessons get harder & harder, and it's been really hard juggling all these subjects & priorities all at once. Everything's just so hard for me lately. Everything just seems to fall apart. I've been trying so hard but I just couldn't achieve what you guys want me to achieve.

I'm sorry mom & dad if I'm not smart enough. I'm sorry if I'm not athletic enough. I'm sorry I'm not as good as my other sisters. I'm sorry for being an under-acheiver. I'm sorry for not being the daughter you want me to be. I'm just really sorry.

All I'm asking is a little more help. At least a little phone call from the tutorial place to help me. In the past I've been doing everything by myself FOR myself since I know that no one else would do it for me. Now that I know (or at least I thought so) that there's someone here to help me, suddenly I find myself back to doing things on my own as if I'm living in all alone. I never enjoyed my childhood life & so far I am not enjoying my teenage life. I'm halfway through it & still I am unhappy as can be. I feel alone. I want to go out & have fun but I can't 'cause I've got so many things to do for school -for you guys so you'd actually have something to be proud of. Lately I've been really bad at EVERYTHING. I've been a complete failure. I just really can't reach your expectations & nobody's helping me it's just me all the time. No one WANTS to help me so here I go again doing things on my own.

I guess I just can NEVER EVER make you guys happy, never make you guys proud of having me as your daughter because I am just a dumb, untalented, lonely, ugly, loser daughter and I'm sorry for being like that.

For the past couple of weeks I've been going through A LOT of down-falls. First of all, I just came from a very short-lived &, not-to-mention, dishonest relationship which ended so bad that it's hard to recover from it. Next is the fact that my bestfriends seem to be drifting away from me due to uncommon interests & topics of discussions & such. And lastly, is that I am missing my bestfriends SO BAD that I want to cry.

I love my bestfriends. They're the only ones I've got. But everytime I am with them I always feel like I'm being shut-off of the group. They don't talk to me, they don't make eye contact with me, & they seem to not want to hear me out. A couple of weeks ago something really bad happened that it left me depressed all week. I needed someone to talk to but noone, not even my bestfriends, came up to me & ask what was wrong. It's like, I had to go up to someone, tug on her blouse a dozen times before she'd actually listen then eventually just say "Oh wow sorry." then just walk away. I needed someone who'd hear me out, give me a hug & say "It's okay. We're here, & we'll never leave you." But nobody was there for me. So I am expecting too much; okay I'm sorry. I am just a mere 16 year old girl who's trying to cope with things & is just hoping that her bestfriends, her REAL friends would actually come up to her, look her in the eye, give her a hug, and tell her "It's okay now. We're here & we'll never leave you."

They say that it pays to live a good life. To live in a nice house complete with a pool & a gorgeous garden, you need loads of money to pay for it. To own the latest & hi-tech gadgets, one must have the money to afford them all. To eat the most delicious, most authentic selection of food, you have to have money to get them.

"Money makes the world go 'round" -Though we don't admit it, it's true isn't it? Yeah we all say that "LOVE makes the world go 'round"; it does but come to think of it, does love really make this world spin?

Many couples are divorced each year. 3 months of marriage & they're off with another person. What are the reasons behind commitments anyway? People get together for different purposes. The best, & only reason that people should be together is because of love. They should have trust between them, they must understand each other, they must be there for each other no matter how much shit is pouring in on them. Sadly, most people come together because of sex, or money, & God knows what. Once they get what they need, once their partner gets fat & bad in bed, once their partner loses their hair & money, they just leave 'em. People these days are so greedy. All they want is pleasure & money.

MONEY. You can't live with it, & you can't live without it. You need money to survive. That's why alot of people marry because of money. To survive life. Let's all redeem ourselves. Money is evil, but money makes us live.