Here I lie awake, listening to 'sleepy songs', hoping that it would help me fall into sweet, deep, serene slumber, and yet I find myself wide-eyed and awake, unable to sleep. I want to sleep.

So many thoughts have been crossing my mind for the past few hours. The same things just keeping rushing through my head every single day, you cannot imagine how insane it's been driving me. I finished two thick-assed books within three days -that's a new record for me, as it usually takes me a week at least to finish one with two hundred pages- hoping that it would distract me from all these heavy thoughts and yet even as I read, they still somehow manage to slip in between the world created by my imagination that my readings have been dictating. I'm reading to distract myself but somehow I am still flooded with these thoughts.

This week has been interesting for me. I bitched out on a friend to knock some sense into her and surprisingly hit myself in the process by my harsh words -I practically scolded myself as I reprimanded my friend. I was able to visit the house I lived in back in the early years of my adolescence -my awkward years of bad acne and braces. I also learned what great a sacrifice someone has done for me. It was awful at the beginning but I am now thankful for that -beyond thankful, if I may emphasize. I don't have to say how grateful I am, though. All I need to do is make sure I reach my dream and give that person large credit for it.

About a month ago, I got badly wounded and each time it dried into scabs, I stubbornly picked on it and it bled again, rekindling the pain, causing me to cry like when it was fresh. It's not smart to pick on your scabs. You really have to give it some time to heal thoroughly and just allow the scabs to fall off. There's no guarantee getting your porcelain smooth skin back for it is highly probable for it to leave a scar especially if the wound cut deep into your skin. This I tell you though: embrace that scar. It's not a mark of repugnance -it's a story carved on your skin. And like all stories, it holds a struggle, a symbol of strength & bravery, and more than those, a collection of lessons that you will carry for the rest of your life.

So I end this entry with a little piece of advice that I shall leave to you, my lovely reader: Drink water. Take a shower. Pray.